Easy Does It

Why is it so hard to start a new relationship...? Why do women feel that playing hard-to-get is the way to go? Isn't playing hard-to-get a waste of time? Why do women find it hard to make the first move? Is that still taboo? What makes some women go after a man while some passively wait for him? Check out the comic strip below...

If only it was this easy :)

FAMILY CONFLICS

I have some weeks now been struggling with some family conflict. How should I deal with people who want to hurt you for no good reason?
My usual response to people that make me angry is to “bury them”. What I generally do is I just stop talking to you. I do this for the following reasons:
Ø It prevents a verbal altercation with that person who has angered me.
Ø It prevents me from balling up and crying ( I turn to be teary when am angry)
This has worked for me like a charm. If you don’t speak you and pretend that you don’t exist you cannot hurt me. My roommate made me some angry that I didn’t speak to her for half of the year that I stayed with her. Ok this is how it generally works, I didn’t do funny things while she was there, I never brought friends or classmates to our room, I never went to her side of the room, and even more importantly I never spoke to her.
Ok this is where my dilemma raises. The people that have made me angry are my family. It all started a year ago when my cousin said so very hurtful things about me and I found out. This time, mind you for the first time in my life, I called her up and confronted her about it. Well... as I expected to play out, she denied the whole thing. I was so mad, so I just stopped speaking to her. Six months later her mother called us together to work it out... She made a long speech about how family should be kind, loving and supporting of each other, and then she left the room for us to speak. I left the room, just after I was sure five minutes had passed. I have a tendency to hold grudges for very long time.
Ok now going back to the recent events that have angered me. It’s now more than one family member involved and since it happened a few weeks ago I hadn’t seen them, till Thursday when we had a family gathering. I just looked at them and never uttered a single word. My justification is, if I speak , i will speak and things will be worse because I will tell them things they don’t want to hear.
So my question is: how does one prevent being sucked in to the web of anger? I know from years of being angry that you can “live off” your anger and it grows and takes over your life. But I cannot pretend am fine.

Woman To Woman



Enjoying my sisters' love :)



I feel like it is really important that I stress that we can achieve more by working together than against each other. I was really blessed to be in an honours class [B.Sc] with the people I was placed with. From the onset we studied together and we helped each other understand the content of the work. We were not competing against each other; rather each individual was trying to surpass their personal best. I’ve often watched friendships crumble and die in some circles because people stopped working together. It’s sad.

I believe that we are all different and have been endowed with talents that are unique to each one. I think the reason for that is so that we can learn to exist in mutually beneficial associations. Clearly speaking, we need to help each other.

This is even truer if you are female like me. It seems that men and other females try to stay away from female friendships involving women because there is an understanding that all we do is work to ensure each other’s demise. How often have you seen a singular girl hang out with a bunch of men!? I’m not saying that this association is wrong but there are very few female cliques that are not riddled with secret desires to bring a member of the gang down. That is why most girly cliques have a handful of members.

I’m not advocating that you girls go out and make the circle bigger. I am advocating that you work together. Life is so much better when you don’t have to worry about a butter knife stuck between your vertebrae. Life is so full of joy when you know that your friend is really pleased with your achievements and not actually muttering a voodoo spell under her pearly whites. Life is worth living when you have people to confide in, who encourage you, laugh with you, cry with you and laugh with you.

I believe that as women we can do this. It’s inherent in our natures. What do you say?

Twitter

Hey ladies

Sisters and Girlfriends is now on twitter. Please stay motivated with inspirational quotes to lift your mood. Follow s_girlfriends and you won't regret it!

when we educate each other

hello sister circle, mine is to live light, laugh, learn and smile....
 I ask that we engage each other in constructive debates to broaden the well of our individual intelligence. Growing up we were taught one is raised by the community, oh, how times have changed so profusely, some things for the better however few and others for the worst and most despicable situations of our time, we have forgotten to safe guard our heritage and not how to respect our elders. A simple hello has been thrown to the sidelines of the hecticness of urban living and the buzz of constant time chasing, where do we go from the rising of moral degeneration and utter disregard of life.
 Mine is to be taught and learn, I have come across a super quote along the way by Albertina Sisulu that reads as follows: "We are required to walk our own road- and then stop, asses what we have learnt and share it with others. We can do no more than tell our story." So friends, I simply ask that we do so buy recording and documenting our life lessons, let's record our mutual and individual histories for the following generations to come. My story, your story can teach and reach the world a person at a time.

Ms L, I love you sister for adding us to your world of blogs, may your light shine brightly always...
To the rest of the circle let's stand up and heard... Bua, Thetha, Praat, Sign, Speak yet most definately write your own experiences, let's share the water that is knowledge around form our own personal wells.

“Am feeling this guy”

So I had this thought this morning. I couldn’t sleep, since Wednesday I have had a sore ear. I didn’t want to go to an ENT so I resorted to taking a concoction of tablets, around 05h00 the effect wears off and my mind started wondering. Ok... like I was saying, I had a thought this morning about the way men and women view sex.

I know that women have to have some feelings towards a guy to have sex with them. On the hand men will have sex because they can, coz he feels like it and he will pretend like it never happened the following day.

So the question that I ask some colleagues this morning is “What happens when you meet a guy/ girl and you like them or feel strongly about them and on that day decide to have sex?”

“Thaphelo” says it’s a big NO NO... The day after, guys will think the chick is cheap, easy; loose... her number is kept, just in case you need her “services” again. I did change in the face when he said that, was he the only guy who thought that or was it a general male feeling.

Thankfully it’s not all men ... Ok so “ Mandla” thinks if he likes a girl enough he would do the do the first day he meets her and it would make him feel good because he knows she was into him. He says there are no guarantees if you wait for 6 months to have sex that a guy will not leave. A guy will leave if he hadn’t intended on staying in the first place. The long and short of it is if you like someone enough it shouldn’t matter when sleep with them.

So I spoke to the ladies. ‘ Mathaphelo” and “ Mandy” wore frowns on their faces when I asked the question. The whole idea was dirty to them. Why would one willingly put themselves in such a horrible position?

‘Thula” and ‘ Sipho” start giggling and as if begin queued say “hell yes” If you like someone why not. Life is too short not to take risks. So what if he leaves and more importantly what if he stays and you end up in a long loving relationship. Are you will to risk that?...

Women VS Honesty

It is very hard sometimes to hear the true. When for example, you ask your man “does my bum look big in these jeans?" I really don’t think any lady wants the honest answer that " Yes you bum is big baby" Am sure you would lose it. Take the DStv ad in this link. The lady lost it when her man was honest with him. I myself dare to ask the question to my man. He is honest with him because he knows I will never over react. I respect his opinion when it comes to what I look it. And for the most part all other areas that affect us. So ladies only ask for the answer if you are willing to hear and accept the answer.