Easy Does It

Why is it so hard to start a new relationship...? Why do women feel that playing hard-to-get is the way to go? Isn't playing hard-to-get a waste of time? Why do women find it hard to make the first move? Is that still taboo? What makes some women go after a man while some passively wait for him? Check out the comic strip below...

If only it was this easy :)

FAMILY CONFLICS

I have some weeks now been struggling with some family conflict. How should I deal with people who want to hurt you for no good reason?
My usual response to people that make me angry is to “bury them”. What I generally do is I just stop talking to you. I do this for the following reasons:
Ø It prevents a verbal altercation with that person who has angered me.
Ø It prevents me from balling up and crying ( I turn to be teary when am angry)
This has worked for me like a charm. If you don’t speak you and pretend that you don’t exist you cannot hurt me. My roommate made me some angry that I didn’t speak to her for half of the year that I stayed with her. Ok this is how it generally works, I didn’t do funny things while she was there, I never brought friends or classmates to our room, I never went to her side of the room, and even more importantly I never spoke to her.
Ok this is where my dilemma raises. The people that have made me angry are my family. It all started a year ago when my cousin said so very hurtful things about me and I found out. This time, mind you for the first time in my life, I called her up and confronted her about it. Well... as I expected to play out, she denied the whole thing. I was so mad, so I just stopped speaking to her. Six months later her mother called us together to work it out... She made a long speech about how family should be kind, loving and supporting of each other, and then she left the room for us to speak. I left the room, just after I was sure five minutes had passed. I have a tendency to hold grudges for very long time.
Ok now going back to the recent events that have angered me. It’s now more than one family member involved and since it happened a few weeks ago I hadn’t seen them, till Thursday when we had a family gathering. I just looked at them and never uttered a single word. My justification is, if I speak , i will speak and things will be worse because I will tell them things they don’t want to hear.
So my question is: how does one prevent being sucked in to the web of anger? I know from years of being angry that you can “live off” your anger and it grows and takes over your life. But I cannot pretend am fine.

Woman To Woman



Enjoying my sisters' love :)



I feel like it is really important that I stress that we can achieve more by working together than against each other. I was really blessed to be in an honours class [B.Sc] with the people I was placed with. From the onset we studied together and we helped each other understand the content of the work. We were not competing against each other; rather each individual was trying to surpass their personal best. I’ve often watched friendships crumble and die in some circles because people stopped working together. It’s sad.

I believe that we are all different and have been endowed with talents that are unique to each one. I think the reason for that is so that we can learn to exist in mutually beneficial associations. Clearly speaking, we need to help each other.

This is even truer if you are female like me. It seems that men and other females try to stay away from female friendships involving women because there is an understanding that all we do is work to ensure each other’s demise. How often have you seen a singular girl hang out with a bunch of men!? I’m not saying that this association is wrong but there are very few female cliques that are not riddled with secret desires to bring a member of the gang down. That is why most girly cliques have a handful of members.

I’m not advocating that you girls go out and make the circle bigger. I am advocating that you work together. Life is so much better when you don’t have to worry about a butter knife stuck between your vertebrae. Life is so full of joy when you know that your friend is really pleased with your achievements and not actually muttering a voodoo spell under her pearly whites. Life is worth living when you have people to confide in, who encourage you, laugh with you, cry with you and laugh with you.

I believe that as women we can do this. It’s inherent in our natures. What do you say?

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